Supermom? Where?

Supermom! 

How do you do it? 

You should write a parenting book.

You make having three kids look easy.

I'm as surprised as you are that all of these things have been said to me! Here's the thing:  I am no supermom; I don't know how I do it; what in the world would I say in a book?; having three kids ain't easy.

Let me let you in on a little secret. We thought we knew so much when we started having kids. Boy, were we wrong! I was 20 when I got married, and 21 & 22 when I had my first two boys. It's like I tell my boys sometimes, "I've never been a parent before. I'm still learning how this thing works, so sometimes you have to cut me some slack."

At this point in our journey, my husband and I both work full-time. His hours fluctuate anywhere from 15-60 hours per week. He pastors an outreach chapel on Sunday mornings, and I lead a Bible study on Wednesday nights. Our eldest son goes to high school on the other side of the county from our youngest son's elementary school (30 minute drive). The middle son goes to middle school in the middle of town. This spring the older two are playing soccer with their schools, and the youngest is playing on a rec team. The eldest is active in his youth group and small group. The middle son is a student leader with his youth group. We host a dinner for up to three other families at our small home nearly every Friday. We have no extended family here.

Are you tired yet?!

I think those people who think I have it all figured out just don't see me on the days that the songs that run through my head have lyrics like (brace yourself):

"'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying"
(Papa Roach, Last Resort, just this part of the song, ignore the rest)

OR

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find out that anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I found bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Break break break break break
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up shut up shut up
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up shut up shut up shut up
I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to
BREAK!
(Linkin Park, One Step Closer) 

Oh, wait, we're not supposed to admit we think like that sometimes, are we? If you have never had a day like that as a parent, I would love to hear how you manage. Anyway, I guess I should talk about how I get through days like that. Here are my thoughts:

1) I am learning to cut myself some slack.
2) I admit when I'm overwhelmed.
3) I seek God's face. I pray for the ability to be merciful to others as He has been to me.
4) I spend time in God's Word daily. (If you want to know my theology of parenting, check out Deuteronomy 6:4-9. I may do another blog about that.)
5) I prioritize. I know I can't do everything, so I have to choose what's most important even if it makes someone upset with me.
6) I remind myself they're only little once (even if the high schooler has several inches on me). One day I'll miss all this busyness, and keeping them active keeps them out of trouble (and leaves them no time for girlfriends).
7) I try to take care of me. There's nothing better than a girls night out with supportive girlfriends.
8) I admit when I need help. I have wonderful friends who I know will show up at 11:00 at night with Tylenol and Gatorade for my post-operative 6-year-old when my husband is out of town with the other two kids, or who lets my kid ride the bus to high school from her house, or just text me to see how an appointment went.
9) I try my very best to take it all one day at a time. Matthew 6 tells us that tomorrow has enough worries of its own.
10) I chose well when I got married. He's loving, supportive, and patient. And, he is most definitely the man of the house. I am still learning through trial and error, success and failure, to submit to him.
11) I love my kids with every fiber of my being. No matter how frustrated I get, they are my world.
12) I have wonderful, flexible bosses who let me put first things first.
13) I get wisdom from other moms who have raised successful, godly young men as I am trying to do.
14) I try not to compare my life to others' lives. My kids successes and failures are their own regardless of what other kids do. I am not as skinny as some moms I see. I have been a stay-at-home mom, and I have worked both part-time and full-time. I nursed them all for about a year. They go to public school. What is best for me and my family at any give time may not be right for someone else's family. What is right for someone else's family may not be right for me. We're all just doing the best we can with the babies God has loaned to us.

These are some of the things that work for me. I would love to hear from other moms what works for you.